Lily Black ([info]mod_inadequate) wrote,
2005-07-15 11:46:00
  • Mood: frustrated

ugh

I'm trying to skip sleeping today. It's the result of a conversation I had with my father yesterday about my sleeping habits of late, which led to an argument about my chronic fatigue, which, much like my clinical depression, he feels that I can just "snap out of."

Here's some advice: If you have a loved one who suffers from depression, absolutely do not ever tell them to "snap out of it," or "get over it." It's like the worst thing you could possibly say, so don't be a fuckwit and say some dumb bullshit like that. Both my parents, at one point or another (yesterday being the most recent), have said these things to me. I've tried talking with them about it, but they refuse to change their minds about this. If it isn't "snap out of it," it's "You'll grow out of it." I'm 24 fucking years old. When, exactly, am I going to grow out of it?

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  • 12 comments

[info]mirandalola

July 15 2005, 17:21:31 UTC 6 years ago

*hug*

One of my favoritest teachers once said:
"Depression is as much a physical ailment as having a broken arm. You wouldn't tell little Johnny who just fell out of a tree to just 'get over it.' In the same way, you shouldn't tell little Johnny suffering from depression to just 'get over it.'"
His name is Tim Daniels, Assistant Biology Teacher. He doesn't teach during the summer...but during the regular semester, have your dad call him and Mr. Daniels will give him the biology of the brain and how an imbalance in brain chemistry is NOT something you can just snap out of. Even better, talk to him (Mr. Daniels) yourself...he may be able to help you out and give you some information to share with your dad.
And tell him I said Hi, if you do talk to him. He was one of my favorite teachers, and I was often in his office bugging him with my deep philosophical questions about life and marriage and school and work. He is one of those teachers who will put everything down and be late to his own class to talk to a student in need.

[info]mod_inadequate

July 15 2005, 19:09:48 UTC 6 years ago

but during the regular semester, have your dad call him and Mr. Daniels will give him the biology of the brain and how an imbalance in brain chemistry is NOT something you can just snap out of.

Unfortunately, not only would my dad not call him, he already knows all that stuff. I'm not sure if he thinks that the info. doesn't apply to me, or if people can really "snap out of" brain chemistry, or if he's the king of doublethink or what. Seriously.

[info]mirandalola

July 15 2005, 19:48:11 UTC 6 years ago

Oh....ouch.

Sorry!

[info]mod_inadequate

July 15 2005, 19:50:47 UTC 6 years ago

It's okay, I appreciate you trying to help. Really.

[info]nickitty

July 15 2005, 17:23:10 UTC 6 years ago

I remember my mom saying this to me once: "I remember being so sad I thought I was depressed, but luckily I was strong enough to snap out of it."

Because the rest of us are just weak, of course.

[info]mod_inadequate

July 15 2005, 19:11:15 UTC 6 years ago

Right, that's a good one. I hate when people are like "Oh, I get sad sometimes too," as if it's the same thing.

[info]star_fly

July 15 2005, 19:23:01 UTC 6 years ago

I don't think they mean to be like that ... They just can't understand what it is like to have depression. You have to admit that if you didn't have it you wouldn't know just how low you could feel. They just don't understand ... Sure, they know the biological aspects and what happens scientifically but they don't understand why you are the way you are due to the depression ...

[info]mod_inadequate

July 15 2005, 19:44:27 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah, but I don't think I'd ever tell anyone to "snap out of" or "get over" anything. Unless I didn't like them. But family can be like that, I guess. I've tried explaining to them that they don't understand, but they remain convinced that they do understand, and I'm only being dramatic or something. If they could accept that they don't understand (and this is more true of my father than my mother), that would be a huge step forward.

[info]star_fly

July 15 2005, 19:54:12 UTC 6 years ago

But they are family ... and let's face it, family is always the worst whenever there is something wrong or someone has problems.

I agree though ... it was very insensitive of him.

[info]mod_inadequate

July 15 2005, 20:24:00 UTC 6 years ago

Yes, because family is, um, too familiar. Heh.

[info]deviousally

July 15 2005, 21:43:53 UTC 6 years ago

i just want to tell you that i am here for you.

[info]mod_inadequate

July 15 2005, 22:21:03 UTC 6 years ago

Thanks. I feel better now that I've vented.
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